Parents’ preference

Honoring one’s parents is one of the ways that leads to the pleasure of God Almighty, as the Messenger, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, said: (God’s pleasure is in the father’s pleasure and God’s wrath is in the father’s wrath).[1] The Muslim must be keen to honor his parents, and one of the ways to achieve that is to talk to them with kindness and gentleness, and with the best and best words, without raising his voice to them, and lowering his wing to them, as God Almighty said:[2] Parents need to hear the words of love, affection and tenderness from their children, and one of the images of righteousness is doing what the parents love of sayings, deeds, food, drink, and dress, and achieving them. And it may be justified and the argument of some children that their parents neglected their upbringing, but this is not taken into account, as God Almighty commanded to honor parents even if they were infidels, as he said: kindly, and follow the path of those who turn to me, then to me you will return, and I will inform you of what you used to do).[3] It is the duty of the Muslim to be patient with what comes out of their parents, and to be kind to parents in the event of their old age, inability and weakness, as they need to deal with them with patience, forbearance and generosity; Because that is one of the reasons for entering Paradise in the afterlife.[4]

Disobedience to parents

The scholars explained what is meant by disobedience to parents, including Imam al-Qurtubi, who defined disobedience to parents as violating parents in matters that are permissible for them, and on the contrary, he defined righteousness, so if one of the parents or both of them asked for a matter from his son, the son must do the matter, and not violate their order, as long as this The matter is devoid of disobedience to the commands of God Almighty.[5]

  • Not justifying children by swearing their parents’ oath, or swearing by one of them, if it is not in disobedience to God Almighty, and it falls under the son’s ability to justify.
  • Not carrying out the orders of the parents, or the orders of one of them, if they are not in disobedience to God Almighty, and within the capacity of the son.
  • The son’s betrayal of his parents, or one of them, over one of the matters that the son was entrusted with.
  • Going to jihad in the cause of God Almighty without the permission of the parents, or the permission of the neighborhood of them, if jihad is a sufficient jihad, it was mentioned in the authentic hadith that: So he struggled and said: A man came to the Messenger of God and he said: I pledge allegiance to you on emigration and jihad, I seek reward from God. He said: Is there any of your parents alive? ).[6]
  • Traveling from the country of the parents is not obligatory, if the journey is difficult for the parents, or for the neighborhood of them.
  • Absence from parents for a long time, or absence from the neighborhood of them, if the absence was without justification, such as if the absence was not to seek knowledge, or to seek work and earning.
  • Insulting and insulting the parents, or insulting and insulting one of them, whether directly or indirectly.
  • Frowning, frowning with the parents, doing their commands and not talking.
  • Bemoan and bored from the parents, and their orders, and Astqlha.
  • Not spending on the parents at all, even if the alimony is required to reach the level of subsistence.
  • Lack of respect for parents and respect for them, and forms of this: walking in front of them, sitting before them, and calling them by their names.
  • Refrain from supplicating to parents in the event of their life and death as well, and refraining from seeking forgiveness for them.
  • Refrain from relating to their relatives and friends.
  • Not seeking to pay off their debts, whether they are material or moral debts.

The danger of disobeying parents

The Messenger, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, warned against disobedience to parents, as it was reported on the authority of Al-Mughirah bin Shu’bah – may God be pleased with him – that he said: (God has forbidden you to be disobedient to mothers, and to prevent women and infants, and female infanticide).[7] The following is an explanation of some of the punishments for disobeying parents:[8]

  • For the one who disobeys his parents, there are two gates, through which he will enter Hell.
  • He will not enter Paradise, for the Messenger of God, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, said: (The disobedient, the greedy, the alcoholic, and the liar will not enter Paradise).[9]
  • He will not look at the face of God Almighty on the Day of Resurrection, for the Messenger of God, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, said: (There are three whom God will not look at on the Day of Resurrection: the one who disobeys his parents, the alcoholic, and the one who is generous with what he has given).[10]
  • He is deprived of God Almighty’s forgiveness of his sins and transgressions.
  • He is forbidden from the company of the prophets, the truthful ones, and the martyrs in the Hereafter.
  • Punishments that hasten the disobedient in this world; Such as the narrowness of sustenance, and the non-acceptance of his deeds by opening the gates of heaven to receive it, just as God Almighty hates him because of his disobedience.
  • May God curse him, the angels curse him, and the believers curse him.
  • His prayer is not answered by God Almighty.
  • Bad end; He dies a bad death, and before that his children and grandchildren will be among the disobedient to him.

The righteousness of the prophets, peace be upon them

Honoring one’s parents is one of the commandments with which the prophets, peace be upon them, were sent, as Abraham – peace be upon him – the father of the prophets used to address his infidel father with all kindness, leniency and kindness. He remained soft and gentle with his father, and responded to him with all kindness, as God Almighty said: (He said, “Peace be upon you, I will ask forgiveness for you, my Lord, for he was barefoot.”)[11] Also, God Almighty praised Yahya bin Zakariya, peace be upon him, when he said: (And he was kind to his parents, and he was not arrogant in disobedience).[12] The same applies to those who followed the orders of the Messenger – may God bless him and grant him peace – from the Companions and others.[13]

the reviewer

  1. ↑ Narrated by Ibn Hibban, in Sahih Ibn Hibban, on the authority of Abdullah bin Omar, page or number: 429, taken out in his Sahih.
  2. ↑ Surat Al-Isra, Verse 23.
  3. ↑ Surah Luqman, verse: 15.
  4. ↑ “Honoring one’s parents”,, accessed on 9-28-2018. act.
  5. ↑ “Parents’ disobedience”,, accessed on 9-28-2018. act.
  6. ↑ Narrated by Al-Albani, Ghayat Al-Maram, on the authority of Abdullah bin Amr, page or number: 281, authentic.
  7. ↑ Narrated by Al-Bukhari, in Sahih Al-Bukhari, on the authority of Al-Mughirah bin Shu’bah, page or number: 5975, Sahih.
  8. ↑ “Parents’ disobedience”., accessed on 9-28-2018. act.
  9. ↑ Narrated by Ahmad Shakir, in Umdat al-Tafsir, on the authority of Abu al-Darda’, page or number: 1/320, its chain of transmission is authentic.
  10. ↑ Narrated by Al-Albani, in Sahih Al-Nasa’i, on the authority of Abdullah bin Omar, page or number: 2561, Hassan Sahih.
  11. ↑ Surat Maryam, verse: 47.
  12. ↑ Surat Maryam, verse: 14.
  13. ↑ “Models and stories about honoring one’s parents”,, accessed on 9-28-2018. act.

A topic about parental disobedience

writing – on the date : – Last updated: 2022-06-19 23:18:01